...steady as she goes...

it's friday. finally. this week has just seemed so incredibly long... not to mention it's been rainy (which always makes me happy, but not so the rest of the residents of 'always-sunny-san diego'). so the week in recap:


monday: none of my patients showed up on my clinic shift (ah! it's raining, i might melt!). so i treated one of the assistants, hungout in the herb room making formulas and then co-treated with a friend. then off to children's... natalia and i saw this 5 year old boy with a brain-stem tumor, he's pretty much at end of life, has a DNR... *sigh* paralyzed from the neck down and wasn't communicating verbally. he was there though, his eyes were tracking us and responding. but, the killer isn't even seeing the kids like this, it's looking around their rooms and seeing the pictures of them when they were healthy and playing... it's enough to make you just about lose it. i honestly just can't even comprehend what life must be like for these kids, or their families... my heart goes out to them.

tuesday: ha. i am not sure what my problem was. i actually woke up for boxing at 5, and got out of bed and then decided not to go. also, called in to my volunteer shift and it was slow, so i didn't go for that either. went for a 55min jog as the weather was actually lovely - it had rained the night before, so the air was all cool and crisp but the sun was out. it was good to get some vitamin D. then went to work in the afternoon.


wednesday: had a full full japanese clinic. as usual. thought my first patient didn't show. (Rain, again). but one of the other interns was really sick, so i treated him. and then saw two of my regular patients. had class in the afternoon and then clinic at PB free. where i am having an issue with one of my patients. he's always there early and expects me to treat him immediately (even though we don't technically start treatments til 6) and he calls me 'kid' which is fine, but it's the way he says it. "what's this kid's name?" he asked my supervisor even though i was standing right there. "so, kid, you know what you're doing?" and it's not just this... i don't know what he wants me to treat - he won't ever tell me "you're the dr, kid, you tell me" and he doesn't tell me if he gets better or worse... so i have no idea if the treatment is any good. i'm really frustrated. and i spoke to one of my supervisors about it yesterday and he was just like "is there anything you can learn from him, think about that for a week" which is fine, but i've been thinking about it for a month. and actually i'm not learning ANYthing. that's the problem. and i have bad qi when i treat him, because i don't want to. and that's not fair to him either. so i am hoping maybe someone else can treat him next week. because if it were my own clinic there is a talk i would have with him about respect, etc and that i didn't want to treat him as a patient anymore, and i would refer him. but i don't feel like i can say that, since i have to see him every week even if i'm not treating him. anyway...


thurs: up at 5 for boxing. kong brought out the big guns. man class was hard this week. there were only 3 of us there. i mean it's usually hard, but this was killer. awesome though. except my SI joint has been bugging me (i think it's all the jogging), so i couldn't do everything (which of course drives me crazy). then class. then i skipped my 2nd class (sorry nancy!) to get an acu tx with Vasa for my SI joint. and of course i got chastized for jogging in the first place ("on concrete?! what's wrong with walking, or swimming?") i know, i know... but... and he told me not to do too many left hooks. :P. had a great tx, feel better, and THANK YOU IAN! for doing some awesome massage and stretching, it really helped! then after acu, class again! went home and crashed out almost immediately.


fri: here i am at work. slept ok last night. am SO SORE from yesterday. it's crazy. but i kinda like it. and it really makes sleeping feel so good :). the rest of my plans for the day include going down to Vice to renew my HHP license (if i can find my certification! eeek!), working out at some point, and having a chill night... possibly cleaning the house... ha!


the weekend forecast: bjorn is getting into town tonight, so cheryl and i have plans to hang out with him and TJ on saturday night - to relive our portland adventures! :) it'll be fun. and sunday am going to meditation, possibly hiking with cheryl and then pub quiz with some friends... and all too soon it'll be over! and back to the week...eeeeek!


so, here goes... have a happy weekend!

...good morning baby, i hope i'm gonna make it through another day...

*sigh* it's just past 9am and i'm already ready for a nap. this week has been so busy, i just know i'm going to crash out when i get home tonight. unfortunately that's just over 12 hours away...

let's see - monday was good, had a clinic shift at school and then went to children's. kinda learned my way around with natalia - we ended up walking from one end to another more than once... i think we've got the place down now. after we got all badged and legal, we ended up seeing an almost 13 year old boy with a genetic muscle wasting disease. the kid was adorable, but he has been in the hospital (this admission) for months already. and his mom sleeps on the pull out chair. we did 2 needles on him, and some passive movement and massage. also we did massage on his mom and grandmother, and it's kind of amazing to see the change in him, when his mom relaxed... so cool. then i also treated a highschool girl who is in the chronic pain program for her headaches, though being much better it was her last treatment as she had graduated the program (outpatient). overall it was good shift, still a little overwhelming, but i think it's going to be a good thing, though definitely challenging.

that was monday. then tuesday, up at 5am for boxing. which was great. kong kicked my ass - which was necessary. but man, hadn't been for 3 weeks (comps, away, sick...) and yeah, i'm hurting... but in a good way :). then work all day. wednesday i had 3 clinic shifts - the last one at PB free - lots of emotional cases. and a woman who's a paranoid schizophrenic... who told me she never talked to human beings. interesting. but got a lovely treatment, and she calmed down and was quiet for the whole time...which was stellar! also saw a patient i had seen last week who had some severe wrist pain and she said it was SO much better this week, so that was good to hear! finally got home 10.30 pm and tried to get some sleep.

up again at 5 this morning for boxing. and now in school for 12 hours... i can't wait for my bed tonight.

...well at times this world be getting hectic...

...My people I just wanna disconnect it
Find something to nourish the pain...

(hi).

i know it's been awhile. i've been off the grid a bit. but i feel like it's time to start writing again. if nothing else, there's going to be a lot of change happening over the next year and i figure i might need some space to verbalize it all. and not that this past year hasn't been a lot of change, what with back surgery and moving, but i'm not going to review. gotta keep on moving...

at the moment i'm in a strange place. not literally (literally i'm sitting in bed on a sunday morning with puma curled up at my feet) but mentally. i've been feeling really overwhelmed recently. not with school (though my schedule is crazy!) but with the fact that in 12 weeks (12 WEEKS!) i will be done. no more school. possibly ever. weird, eh? and this 4 year process that felt like forever (still does, some days i think the 12 week thing is a myth!) is actually ending. and then what? exactly. i'll be in SD for a few more months... i've got a lease through august after all and then i still have to take boards (nationals and possibly states) and it didn't really make sense to move before then. so then life involves getting some type of full-time job that will pay my rent, etc until i move. and studying. lots. and then there's the whole moving thing. (in case you don't know, my plan is to move to portland, OR in sept/oct - check out pictures of my trip this summer if you haven't already) and there's all the chaos with that, somewhere to live, not knowing anyone, finding a job, starting a practice... *sigh* not to mention a ridiculous amount in loans i am expected to pay back. ha! all in all it's making me feel just a little bit stressed (ok, that might be a slight understatement... but you get it). but i'm also excited. have been feeling kind of stuck here, so it will be good to move again, try something new...

other than that... let's see - life is ok. i'm crazy busy this term - i've got 4 classes and 4 clinic shifts, i'm working at blue lotus 2 days and doing a shift at acusport... so the days fill up quickly. thus far i'm liking my clinic shifts a lot, i've got one with Dr. J which should be good - will help me brush up with herbs and then a Japanese shift with Elizabeth - which is great. Then my two other shifts are off campus... i'm back at PB free again which is always an experience and then my last shift is at children's hospital - have only been to orientation thus far, so this week will be my first time treating... it should be really challenging and interesting... but i am really interested to see how acupuncture works in a hospital setting...

and i'll get on the update thing... really. :)