Wednesday, February 24, 2010

you catch your breath and winter starts again/ and everyone else is spring bound...

the past week and a half has been gorgeous here...

as i mentioned, flowers blooming, warm, sunny weather. everyone is so happy.

oddly, am feeling not ready for spring. emotionally i think i still need a bit of winter, introspection, withdrawing into myself... i am not quite ready to be moving outward. luckily for me, there's been a bit of rain the past few days - which has let me sleep a bit better. it's nothing like winter, but it'll do.

i think i just need a few more weeks, and then i'll be ready for the spring.

Monday, February 15, 2010

I tiger you.

It's true.

I do. Xin nian kuai le and happy lunar new year. Despite being largely absent for the past few weeks (apologies, have been working though some life things). I am here. And apparently here in Portland, we think it's spring. crocuses and daffodils not only shoots appearing but flowers as well. we're only in February. I keep telling the plants that they need to wait a month... i am worried for their futures should we return to winter in the meantime.

however, that being said, i am certainly don't mind sunshine and 50 degree weather. i, for one, cannot believe that it is the middle of february already. there is so much going on in the upcoming months... sometimes it overwhelms me.

the exciting news of the next few weeks is that i am heading to San Francisco to attend a 3 day seminar with Masakazu Ikeda on Japanese acupuncture. so so SO excited. seriously. not only am i excited to be immersed in Japanese acupuncture (i feel a bit like i've been lacking it in my life) but i will also get to see some old friends and colleagues who are also attending this seminar. i won't lie, i am also very excited about that part of things as well. especially because i feel that close friends is something i've been lacking close by. it'll be good to spend some time with people who know me. and to make it even better, emily is coming up for the weekend and i will get to spend some quality time with her! yay! am also hoping that we can work out schedules so i can see Aunt Debbie, Lisa and Merrily if time permits! yay!

on the flip-side of things it's been a tough month, not sure if it was the detox + other events but i was remarkably sad. and while there is nothing inherently wrong with this (emotions are like weather, no? they come and go) i am on a search to find out why- when life right now is essentially good - do i feel this heaviness? i'll let you know... ha.

a partial quote from one of my very favorite Pema Chodron pieces

"This first noble truth says that it's part of being human to feel discomfort. Nothing in its essence is one way or the other. All around us the wind, the fire, the earth, the water, are always taking on different qualities; they're like magicians. We also change like the weather. We ebb and flow like the tides, we wax and wane like the moon. We fail to see that like the weather, we are fluid, not solid. And so we suffer... If we learn to sit still like a mountain in a hurricane, unprotected from the truth and vividness and the immediacy of simply being part of life, then we are not this separate being who has to have things turn out our way. When we stop resisting and let the weather simply flow through us, we can live our lives completely. It's up to us."